Society

AS rain falls and you’re reminded of the only other Bible story you know, you reflect on what a logistical nightmare Noah’s Ark would be. These animals would have ruined it.

A DOG has politely asked to be given the receipt for an underwhelming gift.

YOU’VE been invited around for Christmas by your children, the meal is done and you’ve enjoyed a small sherry. Should you leave now, or stay until past 11pm?

DEAR Him/Her/They. Santa is currently undergoing awareness training, so I will making some alterations to your Christmas. Here are my substitutions.

SPOILER alert: Santa isn't real. But did you learn the truth in the most traumatising way possible? 

NEVER felt loved or supported by your own father? Your Christmas gift shouldn't reveal your true feelings, so here are some ideal for emotionally stunted dads.

DESPITE the song’s claims, Christmas isn't the most wonderful time of the year. It barely scrapes into the top ten. These occasions are far more wonderful.

A MIDDLE class man is torn between feeling he should tip his binmen and not actually wanting to go near them.

PEOPLE from the north of England have been accused of hypocrisy by constantly going on about how unfriendly Southerners are on public transport.

A YOUNG person has been made to explain every single syllable of the latest indecipherable sentence they have spouted, it has emerged.